Monday, April 9, 2012

It Feels Good To Be Back ..... Bahiyah

As salaamu alaikum wa'rahmantullahi wa'barakathu. Hello lovely ummah :o) ... It feels good to be back. MashaAllah!

Over the last 4 months I've gone through necessary adjustments in my life. These adjustments took me on a unexpected and unwanted rollercoaster that I was DYING to get off. The lessons I've learned have been epic and I'd love to share a few with you. I hope that my story will help some of you beautiful muslimahs on your amazing path through Islam.

After my divorce I struggled with keeping up with my islamic studies and my imaan decreased dramatically. I no longer had my "partner in Islam", my Quranic study buddy, my surah dissector, my LOVE! No one to wake me for Fajr. No one to go to Jumu'ah with on Fridays. A divorced revert in the middle of Brooklyn NY "land of the kafirs" <--- (dry joke).
I know I could've done all these things by myself, as I am doing now, but at the time I was accustomed to having my ex husband there for support. Hence why being married for the sake of Allah (swt) is half of our deen.
Before long I craved getting my hair done and showing it off, I wanted to wear the fashions I grew to love growing up. I wanted to "blend in" more. I wanted to hit the scene and be seen, Astaughfirallah. I stopped going to the Masjid. I became lazy with my salat and I even stopped wearing my hijab (GASP!!). I felt free for all of two hours and then the horrible guilt hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt horrible and I prayed daily that Allah (swt) would guide me back to loving Islam wholeheartedly.

After a few months I read the book "My  Red Hijab, My White Baby Tee, and My Blue Skinny Jeans". I instantly put my hijab back on, Alhumdulillah!! The book, written by Iman Gill, reminded me of how sweet Islam is. MashaAllah. How beautiful our way of life truly is. We have the most amazing example in our beloved prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him). Every day my imaan (faith) grew stronger. I began making aal of my prayer on time again, I started going to the Masjid daily, I started studying surahs, duas and hadiths and reading Quran on the regular! I honestly felt like I took my first breath of air again and it felt so good to breathe. Alhumdulillah!

Many girls can relate to my story. Especially those who grew up as a non believer loving this dunya (current world). What I learned was I prefer to cover my self in a beautiful abaya and hijab rather than show off my future husbands body and beauty.  I take pride in following the guidelines of such a flawless religion and way of life.
Sisters, it is not easy for a lot of us but with strengthened Tauhid (oneness of Allah swt) and Taqua (fear of Allah swt) it will become very easy. My love for Islam and Allah (swt) is so much greater than the latest hairstyles, fashions, gossip and trends of this dunya. I much prefer the promise of jennah. I've also learned that with salat and other reminders of Allah (swt), such as learning duas and the way of the sunnah, keeps your faith strong and keeps you in a refreshed state of mind. Keeping like minded friends and people who support your lifestyle is also a great way to keep your faith strong.

 InshaAllah, Ill start sharing some of the books I've been reading and the lectures I've been listening to. I'd love to know what you guys are reading and listening to as well. Remember, its all a steady learning process. Although I am back on track, I still have a very very long way to go. I hope some of you can relate to this story and hope it can guide you like Imani's book and Allah(swt) guided me.

Ill be making regular posts from now on so come back and check out what this fashionable muslimah has to say next. InshaAllah.
I'm baaaaack ;o)


**BTW... If I have offended anyone with this post I would like to sincerely apologize as that was not my intention. I only wish to spread positive vibes inshaAllah.

Fashion Muslimah  Bahiyah

5 comments:

Arezu In Wonderland said...

Salam sis,

I`m sorry to read your divorced.
Hope you`ll find and nice muslim man in the future when your ready for it.

Alhamdulillah you found your way back to islam.

XO Arezu

Rushie said...

Sorry to hear about your divorce, may Allah grant you happiness!

I have awarded you and Imani the versatile blogger award!

Please go check it out: http://b-is-for-beauty.blogspot.co.uk/2012/04/versatile-blogger-award.html

Thank You!

x

Ian Afifah Sudarman. said...

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, may Allah give u happiness, amin..
Keep smile ^^

Annisa mulia said...

I am sorry to hear about you divorce. Glad to know you are stronger now. keep smiling, everything is okay :)

Haleh said...

Salam sis, just randomly came upon your blog! So sorry to hear about the divorce but glad to read that you are trying to keep the strength. Wish you all the best.